03 Mar The Practice Bali – Changing my yoga
Some weeks ago I had my first contact with The Practice. In a few days, without looking for it or having any purpose, my practice started to crumble. As if all those previous years of yoga were useless. It’s like I leave a jacket in a closet which is little, big or simply old fashioned. You keep it because you don’t know if you will get thinner, fatter or if it will become trendy again. Now I look back and I see those years full of yoga as a bent of good moments on the yoga mat. Lots of endorphins tickling during every practice’s beginning. An Instagram account full of amazing photos, a phonebook full of wonderful people who has been adding to my ‘journey’ and some ‘yoga-studio’ hook-ups.
That’s enough, isn’t it? Are those really good points? Yes, they are. As lots of important reasons that justify my dedication and commitment with yoga, but… Now those are not enough. When you feel how the mula bandha contraction when finishing the exhalation is contributing to build a bridge to NOW, lots of things makes sense.
Now I know that breathing it’s not just inhale and exhale air. I am learning what I have to do with that air. How to take it. How and why retain it, how to blow it out or what happens when I change the timing… I decide what I am searching with my breath, what happens when inhaling with the left or right nostril. What happens if I control in a different way the core’s and upperbody muscles during the inhalation and exhalation. I’m not speaking about the techniques which I learned, I’m trying to explain what is happening, how I’m feeling during and after doing a deep breath work. The fire…
Thanks to my ashtanga practice, I learned to move through breath. Quite badly, I have to admit. Now I’m learning to move through a mantra, not only reciting verses in an unknown language for me. I still don’t understand what I’m saying and I don’t really know how to explain what is happening to me in that moment, but I experience lots of interesting things. I can’t say how involved were my injured knees, but I recognise that when the other day when I just had passed the first half of the 108 times that we recite the Gayantri Mantra, I was overwhelmed as it looked like it that mantra was taking lots of time. Today, a few days later, I still feel as that devotion moment is helping me in my transformation.
I can’t explain neither what happens when mantras become music in a room full of yoguis singing together. My cartesian mind still can’t process or understand those emotions. I just know that I get excited, I got goose bumps and cry. Not miserable or happy tears. I don’t really know about it. Kirtan’s practice is not a hippies concert anymore. There you shake a lot and high.
I don’t want to be unfair with my practice. Thanks to it I have arrived until here. I’ve enjoyed and I’ll keep on with it, because it makes me feel well. Inside and outside yoga mat. But it does not takes me out my ‘three bastards’, my three lower chakras. There’s some fire, but not enough as to create a new change in my life.
That’s Salema. She can teach you how to choose pitayas, explain Ganesha’s birth story with galician-russian accent, coock an incredible Dhal or get you into one of those troubles which can disable your yoga. I love you, my Salemita.